Dr. Seward's Diary
How I miss my phonograph!
To write a diary with a pen is irksome to me! But Van Helsing says I must. We
were all wild with excitement yesterday when Godalming got his telegram from Lloyd's.
I know now what men feel in battle when the call to action is heard. Mrs. Harker,
alone of our party, did not show any signs of emotion. After all, it is not strange
that she did not, for we took special care not to let her know anything about
it, and we all tried not to show any excitement when we were in her presence.
In old days she would, I am sure, have noticed, no matter how we might have tried
to conceal it. But in this way she is greatly changed during the past three weeks.
The lethargy grows upon her, and though she seems strong and well, and is getting
back some of her colour, Van Helsing and I are not satisfied. We talk of her often.
We have not, however, said a word to the others. It would break poor Harker's
heart, certainly his nerve, if he knew that we had even a suspicion on the subject.
Van Helsing examines, he tells me, her teeth very carefully, whilst she is in
the hypnotic condition, for he says that so long as they do not begin to sharpen
there is no active danger of a change in her. If this change should come, it would
be necessary to take steps! We both know what those steps would have to be, though
we do not mention our thoughts to each other. We should neither of us shrink from
the task, awful though it be to contemplate. "Euthanasia" is an excellent
and a comforting word! I am grateful to whoever invented it.
It is only
about 24 hours' sail from the Dardanelles to here, at the rate the Czarina Catherine
has come from London. She should therefore arrive some time in the morning, but
as she cannot possibly get in before noon, we are all about to retire early. We
shall get up at one o'clock, so as to be ready.